to move up and down
Chemical seduction: How ‘love drugs’ may one day help couples save failing relationships
And so he ran a study: Over a three-week period, 40 Australian couples took a hit of oxytocin (or a placebo) through a nasal spray before starting couples’ therapy.
The results aren’t yet published, but the data show that with the help of oxytocin, that repetitive loop breaks — couples recall memories with more emotion and detail, they appear more open to the other person’s perspective, the fractured bond begins to rebuild, Dr. Guastella said.
“If we can make it so that an ‘a-ha’ moment occurs, it’s going to save a lot of heartbreak, a lot of hostility between couples.”
It’s a seductive idea — that somewhere in the near future failing marriages and partnerships can be rescued by manipulating our brains to keep us from falling out of love. (Mike Faille/National Post)
Valentine’s Day around the world
From the attack of a giant flower ball to the longest kiss (AP Photo; Getty Images)
The Death of the love letter: Can love’s poetry survive in the age of emails, texts and tweets?
What does it mean for love, if we no longer write love letters? If a dashed-off, electronically sent sentence or two saying I’ll pick up milk on my way home is the contemporary equivalent of the multi-verse Byronic declaration of devotion?
“Something has certainly been lost to us,” says Andrea Clarke, curator of Early Modern Historical Manuscripts at the British Library in London and editor of Love Letters: 2000 Years of Romance, in which Bottomley’s missive appears.
“In an age of digital communication everything is so much more functional, ephemeral and two dimensional. What letters are, is loads of information waiting to be excavated.
“A love letter tells a story, from its physical dimensions to the way the words are laid down — you can imagine the person writing it.”
Inseparable in life and death: Couple married for 73 years, then died just 48 hours apart
His name was John Jacob Kramer, but Moll, whose full name was Molly Rusonick, called him JJ for short. JJ was a part-time milkman, back when there was such a thing, paying his way through the University of Toronto’s pharmacy program in the 1930s by delivering fresh bottles of the good stuff to cottages around Lake Simcoe, about an hour northeast of Toronto.
His favourite summer destination was Bell Ewart, a quaint little crossroads where JJ would invariably dawdle on his daily route in the hopes that Moll’s mother might invite him inside for some cake and cookies and conversation with her daughter.
The cake and cookie courtship blossomed. In 1939 there was a wedding, then a honeymoon in Miami where the newlyweds — JJ with his rakish-looking Clark Gable moustache and Moll with her twinkling Betty Grable eyes — posed for goofy photographs, promising to pack as much into life as they possibly could.
Somehow, they did. They were married for almost 74 years. They died in early December, just 48 hours apart. (Courtesy of Kramer family)
From the heart: When did you know your partner was ‘the one’ for you?
Over the past two weeks, we asked you to share your stories about the moment you knew your partner was “the one” for you. Dozens responded via email, Twitter, Facebook and Tumblr. We’ve excerpted some of the many sweet, sad and surprising stories and featured them here. To read more, including responses from the likes of Rufus Wainwright and Jill Barber, visit nationalpost.com/theone. Thank you all for sharing, and happy Valentine’s Day.
The One: Rufus Wainwright and Jörn Weisbrodt
From Rufus: “I knew he was the one for me when … In the first heated discussions involving my mother, Jörn and I, Jörn always took her side. That pretty much sealed the deal. Not to mention the first sight of his backside in Martin Margiela pants.” (Photo: Lucas Jackson/Reuters)What was the moment you knew your partner was “The One” for you? There are many ways to share your stories:
• By email: theone@nationalpost.com
• Comment on the stories listed at nationalpost.com/theone
• On Facebook: Tell us your tale on our Facebook page at facebook.com/nationalpost
• Via Twitter: Tweet your message to @nplife and include the hashtag #theonenp
• On Tumblr: Create a blog post and tag it #TheOneNP
• On Instagram: Add the #TheOneNP tag your Instagram photos
The One: Second City’s Ashley Comeau and Connor Thompson
“I knew Ashley was ‘the one’ when, early in our relationship, she had the decency to take two large steps and turn away from me before unleashing the most violent, Earth-shattering fart anyone has ever issued, ever. (As I wrote that sentence she was behind me, farting. Some things never change.)”What was the moment you knew your partner was “The One” for you? There are many ways to share your stories:
• By email: theone@nationalpost.com
• Comment on the stories listed at nationalpost.com/theone
• On Facebook: Tell us your tale on our Facebook page at facebook.com/nationalpost
• Via Twitter: Tweet your message to @nplife and include the hashtag #theonenp
• On Tumblr: Create a blog post and tag it #TheOneNP
• On Instagram: Add the #TheOneNP tag your Instagram photos
The One: Cartoonist Seth and Tania van Spyk
“I’m not sure if I should call it love-at -first-sight, as that might sound kind of creepy considering that the first time I saw my lovely wife Tania, she was completely naked. We met at a life drawing class and she was the nude model. And let me just say right up front that I would never have even spoken to her if she hadn’t talked to me first. It is utterly unacceptable and crass to chat up the nude model. I am a gentlemen if nothing else.
“Whatever we label it — we were married within a few months time. That was exactly 10 years ago. Honestly, I’m not sure I could narrow it down to any specific moment when I first knew — but I can say that every single day is a day where I know she is ‘the one.’ A perfect friend of tireless patience and sensitivity and encouragement. A sweet refuge from the world.”
— Cartoonist Seth (a.k.a. Gregory Gallant) on wife Tania van Spyk (Photo: Darren Calabrese/National Post)What was the moment you knew your partner was “the one” for you? There are many ways to share your stories:
• By email: theone@nationalpost.com
• Comment on the stories listed at nationalpost.com/theone
• On Facebook: Tell us your tale on our Facebook page at facebook.com/nationalpost
• Via Twitter: Tweet your message to @nplife and include the hashtag #theonenp
• On Tumblr: Create a blog post and tag it #TheOneNP
• On Instagram: Add the #TheOneNP tag your Instagram photosWe look forward to hearing your tales, no matter what form they come in.
Chinese zoo at a loss what to do when a deer and a ram fall in love
Staff at a wildlife park in southwest China have turned to the country’s half a billion web users for advice after a male sheep and a female deer began mating — and soon became inseparable.
A posting on the park’s microblog posed the question: “What do you do when a ram falls in love with a deer?” It asked readers whether they agreed it would be “unethical” to let the unusual pairing continue.
“They do not want to be separated but it is unethical to let them go on,” said the posting, addressed to users of China’s hugely popular weibos — microblogging services similar to Twitter that have taken the country by storm.
Bible’s love might not be as chaste as we thought
For a book of the Bible, the Song of Songs is extremely sexy, even steamy.
“Draw me after you, let us make haste,” the Old Testament book reads. “The king has brought me into his chambers. We will exult and rejoice in you; we will extol your love more than wine; rightly do they love you.”
Or this: “He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love. Sustain me with raisins, refresh me with apples; for I am sick with love. O that his left hand were under my head, and that his right hand embraced me!”
That it speaks of love is beyond obvious, but the more interesting question is what kind of love it is. Is it love in the vague sense of emotion, something that neatly fits into the Biblical sexual ethic? (Photo: AFP/Getty Images)
Princess Bride
The Post’s fascinator-clad team of editors and reporters offers up a regal assortment of royal wedding live commentary, photos, ceremonial play-by-play and reaction from London and beyond.
Crowds cheer as William and Kate are married
Britain’s Prince William and Kate Middleton married at Westminster Abbey on Friday in a royal occasion of dazzling pomp and pageantry that has attracted a huge global audience and injected new life into the monarchy
Photos: The Royal Wedding
Our inside look into the Royal Wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton
A club for sad liars, looking desperately for love
Most of what I wrote about myself in the Nerve online dating personals was untrue. You can try being meta about it. I don’t usually do this sort of thing. Or: I can’t believe I’m doing this. Hey, guess what: nor can anyone. Online dating is one of those things nobody wants to admit to a natural proclivity for, or being an old hand at. And yet they are very much a form unto themselves, a species of fiction, really, wherein wannabe Romeos dash off lightly fictionalized, Gatsbyesque versions of themselves in a tone halfway between come-hither foxiness and plangent entreaty, as if forever posed in some doorway, blowing smoke rings and delivering unrehearsed zingers, before disappearing into the night to work in a soup kitchen or homeless shelter. (Illustration by Kelsey Heinrichs)
A brief history of kissing
If history provides one important lesson with regard to kissing, it’s that this behaviour is nearly impossible to suppress. Over thousands of years, the kiss has been derided by poets and commentators as disgusting, venal, dirty and worse. Popes and emperors repeatedly tried to punish practitioners, citing moral or health-related reasons, yet not even the world’s most powerful men could police the lips of their subjects.
We may vary in skin tone, language and customs, but in regions around the world kissing has become perhaps the single most universal and humanizing practice that we share.
Graphic: How to buy her Valentine’s Day flowers.
Still haven’t visited your florist? We’re here for you.
From the Heart: Your How We Met stories
Well-known Canadian couples share their love stories
The ultimate last-minute gift guide for Valentine’s Day
Sleepless fights: From clueless guys to sex-starved wives, oft-controversial author Rebecca Eckler gives her readers a no-nonsense guide to modern romance in How to Raise a Boyfriend: The Definitive Manual for Educating Your Man. In the lead-up to Valentine’s Day, the Post presents an excerpt from the new book’s chapter on the perils of going to sleep angry. (Illustration by Kagan McLeod)
Check out our full visual archive.
