A team of genetic researchers in Texas have concluded that the legendary forest-dwelling ape-man, also known as the Sasquatch and, in colder climes, the Yeti, is indeed real. DNA testing has revealed the beast is the result of a human woman coupling with a primate some 15,000 years ago. When reached for comment through his official biographer, Graham Roumieu, Bigfoot had a few things to say: natpo.st/StM8cS
“The genome sequencing shows that Sasquatch mtDNA is identical to modern Homo sapiens, but Sasquatch nuDNA is a novel, unknown hominin related to Homo sapiens and other primate species,” said team leader veterinarian Dr. Melba S. Ketchum in a news release. “Our data indicate that the North American Sasquatch is a hybrid species, the result of males of an unknown hominin species crossing with female Homo sapiens.” (Chambers)
The man was wearing a military-style “Ghillie suit” consisting of strips of camouflage fabric and was standing in the right-hand lane of a highway south of Kalispell on Sunday night when he was hit by the first car, according to the Montana Highway Patrol.
“He was trying to make people think he was Sasquatch so people would call in a Sasquatch sighting,” Schneider told the Daily Inter Lake newspaper. (Reuters)
A joint project between Oxford University and Switzerland’s Lausanne Museum of Zoology will examine organic remains that some say belong to the creature that has been spotted in remote areas for decades.
“It’s an area that any serious academic ventures into with a deal of trepidation…. It’s full of eccentric and downright misleading reports,” said Bryan Sykes at Oxford’s Wolfson College.
On the occasion of our fifth anniversary, way back in 2003, the National Post put together a series of front pages, wondering what they would have looked if we’d been around in previous ages. They’d been long forgotten until a dusty poster turned up under a reporter’s desk and now revived here. (Pages by Rob Mckenzie and Kagan McLeod)
This is the last of our faux front pages, Good thing too as we may have been a bit off in our predictions.