National Post

‘Indictment’ issued against groundhog Punxsutawney Phil for ‘purposely’ predicting an early spring falselyFamed groundhog Punxsutawney Phil might want to go back into hibernation.Authorities in still-frigid Ohio have issued an “indictment” of the furry rodent, who predicted an early spring when he didn’t see his shadow after emerging from his western Pennsylvania lair on Feb. 2.“Punxsutawney Phil did purposely, and with prior calculation and design, cause the people to believe that spring would come early,” Mike Gmoser, the prosecutor in southwestern Ohio’s Butler County, wrote in an official-looking indictment.Gmoser wrote that Punxsutawney Phil is charged with misrepresentation of spring, which constitutes a felony “against the peace and dignity of the state of Ohio.”The penalty Phil faces? Gmoser says — tongue firmly in cheek — is death. (AP Photo/Keith Srakocic, File)

‘Indictment’ issued against groundhog Punxsutawney Phil for ‘purposely’ predicting an early spring falsely
Famed groundhog Punxsutawney Phil might want to go back into hibernation.

Authorities in still-frigid Ohio have issued an “indictment” of the furry rodent, who predicted an early spring when he didn’t see his shadow after emerging from his western Pennsylvania lair on Feb. 2.

“Punxsutawney Phil did purposely, and with prior calculation and design, cause the people to believe that spring would come early,” Mike Gmoser, the prosecutor in southwestern Ohio’s Butler County, wrote in an official-looking indictment.

Gmoser wrote that Punxsutawney Phil is charged with misrepresentation of spring, which constitutes a felony “against the peace and dignity of the state of Ohio.”

The penalty Phil faces? Gmoser says — tongue firmly in cheek — is death. (AP Photo/Keith Srakocic, File)

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  8. livingsimplyliving reblogged this from npr and added:
    Overnight we received 6” of snow (and counting) in Indianapolis, so I wholeheartedly support the indictment against...
  9. ifyouseekayou reblogged this from npr and added:
    Our country’s economy is falling apart, and we waste ANY time on something like this?!? You should be fired.
  10. babychocobo reblogged this from npr
  11. spoopertrouper reblogged this from didney-worl-no-uta
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  13. queenozymandias reblogged this from npr and added:
    Phil can go phuck himself
  14. m-mcdonald90 reblogged this from npr and added:
    Oh. My. God. Is this for real? Stupidity level expert
  15. sharedthis reblogged this from npr
  16. backrowheckling reblogged this from npr and added:
    Ohio lawyers really know how to justify that degree.
  17. tea-leaf-prophecy reblogged this from npr and added:
    I can’t fuck with this country anymore.
  18. mynameisbigtub reblogged this from npr
  19. hello-luisa reblogged this from npr and added:
    I’m glad I’m not the only one hating on the groundhog. Spring, where are you?!
  20. eliciabella reblogged this from npr
  21. tammalee reblogged this from npr
  22. hot-hodgepodge reblogged this from nationalpost and added:
    What the fuck …
  23. beanoa reblogged this from npr
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  25. bluh4ir reblogged this from npr and added:
    Wait this isn’t the onion?
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